Monday, June 8, 2015

Trans.shhh

My answer to trans pride and trans* is trans.shhh.

Short of stealth and easier to maintain for those of us that transition in place, trans.shhh is simply a philosophy in which you live your life like anyone else.  There's no need to talk about being trans, brag about it or be ashamed of it.  Some people inherently know and others you are close to you will tell at some point, but to the average person you meet on the street you wouldn't consider mentioning it.

It's simply a fact of life, like having one kidney.  If you have just one kidney you probably aren't going to go around telling everyone you meet you have one kidney or identify as a "one kidney woman."   There is no "one kidney pride."  You may devote time and effort to assuring that those with one kidney have all the rights and opportunities that anyone else has, but yet you realize it's a condition not an identity.
There is a community where people having only one kidney can meet each other (online or in person), discuss the inherent problems of the condition and perhaps develop friendships that go beyond the bond of having this condition.  There is no "one kidney flag."

The one kidney thing is just an example but this has pretty much been my philosophy since transitioning, and I coined the phrase trans.shhh to describe it.  It's not hiding, shunning people or creating another closet. 

Being trans isn't an identity to me.  I am trans because I identify as a woman and was born in a different body.  It's a part of me but the whole point of transition (at least for me) was to become on the outside what I identified as on the inside, not become the condition.

When someone posts something on my wall about trans issues I have to say shhh as I delete it, although I do post my blog (endless self promotion).   I have to shhh my mom sometimes when she wants to tell everybody my story.   It's not really a secret but it is something I prefer not to announce or talk openly about.   People will find out on a need to know basis.

Trans.shhh isn't based on passing.  If you don't think you pass, don't worry about it. Being trans still isn't something you have to announce to the world.   Women look all kind of ways and come in all shapes and sizes.  Do the best you can and try to blend as much as possible.  The in your face "trans pride" or chip on your shoulder attitude won't get you ahead in the real world.

Trans.shhh is simply my philosophy and I am probably the only one who subscribes to it, but if you see me somewhere please don't intentionally out me or I will have to shhh you.