My Coming Out Letter

There is something I have to tell you about myself. I have been hiding from and or dealing with this problem for most of my life and I really did not understand it. I decided to seek medical care a year ago to get a handle on it and of get a better understanding of myself. You may have noticed some changes in me this year. I feel better, both in general and about myself, than I have at any time since childhood. As you recall, I had a very happy childhood until my teen years and things never seemed to fit into place for me after that. I am sure you have realized that I have had problems and even though I have tried to maintain a steady face on the surface, something has never been quite right with me.

I have been suffering from an internal conflict that has influenced my life in a very negative way. The medical term for this condition is called Gender Dysphoria or Gender Identity Disorder and it is basically the condition of being transsexual. What this really means is that, though biologically I was born a male my brain and my own sense of being is that of a female. This is not the same as being a cross-dresser, drag queen, female impersonator or being a gay male. Inside I have always felt as though I was female and I never knew what to do about it. This year I sought therapy and psychological counseling in order to get a better understanding of myself and find a way to break the grip of my problems. I wanted to feel normal and achieve some happiness and success in my life. Being transsexual has always held me back and kept me from being the person that I needed to be to achieve my potential in life Through my therapy I began working with a team of medical professionals to help me through my situation. The only treatment for being transsexual is to make a gender transition. This is not a choice; it is something that I have to do in order to survive. I have been treated by a therapist for one year and also, saw a second therapist for a second opinion. I am also under the treatment of an experienced physician. The medication I have been on since mid-May, basically female hormones has brought about a great and positive change in my mental outlook on life. It has allowed me to feel normal inside for the first time since childhood and given me hope that one day I can live a normal and happy life. The medication has brought about some physical changes and that will continue. I will still be and am the same person inside. I think y’all will agree with me that at heart I am a good person. All I want is to feel normal and to have a chance to reach my full potential in life.

I will always be your child and I love both of you Very much and I feel extremely fortunate to have been chosen as your son. The reality is, mentally I have always been your daughter and I hope you will be able to accept me. All I am trying to do is trying to make physical changes to help me become on the outside the person I am on the inside and be accepted. I will always be here for both of y’all to help take care of you. I love both of you very, very much from the bottom of my heart. I realize finding this out is very painful for you right now and believe me I have always tried to avoid facing this about myself mainly for this very reason. The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you but in order to have any chance at a normal life, I have to make this change. I have chosen the name Tammy for my first name and I would be very honored if you would help me choose my middle name. I know that this is going to take some time and I ask that you be patient with me and I will be patient with you. I love you both more than you know.