Friday, February 26, 2016


Where is she?  When is she coming back?  What's happening in Tammy World? 
These are all questions I've gotten over the last few months.  Questions shouted over the sounds of chirping crickets as a labyrinth of cobwebs formed around this blog.

Well, the answer is I am here.  I've always been here, you just couldn't see me for awhile. 

What happened?  Don't worry friends, all will explained in due time.  Let's just say I've been on a sabbatical of sorts.  Yes, that's the ticket.  A sabbatical, definitely not a vacation.  Not a vacation at all.

In the spirit of a blog being about what is happening Right Now. I am back but in quite a bit of pain.  Coincidentally, the pain is mostly in my back where I have a few bad discs, 2 almost completely shot.  This is an issue I've been dealing with on and off (fortunately off most of the time) for over 2 decades.  This chicken has finally come home to roost, I am afraid, and I am really going to have to deal with a long term solution this time.

Speaking of my neck, I've now found out I have a couple of bad discs there.  They make their presence painfully known as we speak.  At least my pinched nerve is better so there is little pain or numbness in my leg at the moment, keeping me awake at night.

So that's my long answer to your question "how are you doing?"  OMG I must be getting old to give such a long, detailed and morbid answer to that age old greeting.  Nooo way!

Actually, the answer is I am doing great.  I'm fabulous, everything is fabulous.  You answer the question with how you want to be, and the answer itself is a self fulfilling prophesy. 

In truth, I am fabulous and for the most part everything is great.  I didn't make it this far to give in to any problem, even as it reaches crisis proportions.  It all started this fall when Mitchell noticed me leaning to one side as I walked.  It was the purse I thought.  It had to be the heavy purse so let's just switch it over it to the other side.  That didn't work.

It really started last summer when, in an effort to shape up, I made myself do at least 100 crunches daily (in bad form I'm sure) before shooting pains forced me to stop.  The recurring problem had last reared it's ugly head in 2010 when I declined recommended surgery on 2 herniated discs.  Months later the doctor admitted that most people in my situation were the same after two years whether they had surgery or not.  The people who had surgery, he said, just got better faster.

Doctors are notorious for coming up with solutions that the body may not be happy about.  Doctors are also notorious for under treating pain and ignoring more holistic solutions.  For now I'm going to deal with the pain, which fluctuates but is constant, and treat the situation holistically through physical therapy, exercise, chiropractic adjustments and (hopefully) diet. 

This after my doctor, upon examining me and my xrays for the first time, declared me "tore up from the floor up" and described me as "The Leaning Tower of Tammy."  You have to love country doctors.  I've dealt with pain, but when this thing started to affect my posture it was time to fight!

There is a positive message here and you are going to watch as it unfolds.  We have a lot of catching up to do as well.  Make no Bones about it, I am Back.  I'm cleaning the cobwebs off Tammy World as we speak.

For you genderologists, note that beyond transition for many of us the gender issues are resolved.  There may be residual damage, but the good news is for the most part gender is no longer something that has any importance in life.  The bad news is that all the other problems in your life remain.  Only now you may start noticing them.  When you have a gender identity issue it tends to be overwhelming and push almost everything else to the side. 

The demons will follow you.

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